palliation
me started a new job..
i dont feel quite competent..
worse, i feel suicidal..
everyones terminal, i can do nothing about it..
i cant help being non-empathic, and detached, or else tears will running down my cheeks and spine everytime i do wardrounds..
can u imagine your own relatives (i dont want to say mother, i love my mother) lying down on the bed, cant even help themselves to feed? cant even talk? words just dont come out right? and worse it coming out nonsense? pain shooting everywhere, from head to toe?
n i feel real bad about it.. not having the empathy, i mean..
y did they give me this rotation?
how can i cope till next year?
can i go back to cardiology please?
i cant think of any one reason why i want to be a doctor
but i can find a thousand of reason why i should quit
they make it hard on purpose
there are lives in our hands
there comes a moment when its more than just a game
and its either u take that step forward
or turn around and walk away
i could quit
but heres the thing
i love the playing field..
